Stephen Newton, Founder and President
The Touchstone for Men Mission
Touchstone for Men is dedicated to helping men
recover from depression through participation in male only
groups that create a supportive environment where men can re-connect
to their feelings by facing their depression and dealing with its
real causes and not just its symptoms.
Our Story Since 2005
After his 28-year old son took his life
following a lingering depression, Stephen Newton founded Touchstone
for Men in 2005 in an effort to help other men face their depression
and recover.
He was inspired
by the work of Dr.
Terry Real, a
psychologist who specializes in male depression and relationship
therapy. Real is the author of I
Don't Want to Talk About it: The Secret Legacy of Male Depression,
which is suggested reading for all Touchstone members. In its
pages, Newton discovered that he had suffered from what Real
calls "covert" depression for decades. What's more,
Real demonstrates that depressed men don't realize they're depressed
until late in life, when their coping mechanism finally fails,
overwhelmed by the consequences of a life of destructive choices.
Download: Busting the Myth: Real Men Do Get Depressed
Learning to cope
To cope with the pain of loneliness that depression creates, men
learn to compensate in all kinds of ways. These coping mechanisms,
often harmful, are tolerated because society accepts conventional
male stereotypes that
men are hard-wired to be unfeeling monsters. Workaholism, gambling,
pornography, alcoholism, abuse of recreational drugs, passiveness
or extreme aggressiveness, and all forms of sexual addiction are
typical ways men adapt. Our culture rewards men who "live" at
the office, blow up, never cry or show any emotion—even
joy—and otherwise act "manly.," Loved
ones, family, and friends often ignore the warning signs that
something is wrong with the men in their lives, inadvertently
reinforcing the unrealistic warrior/hunter view of men that most
people have.
Zombie State of Mind
For most
men, those years, lived in an unfeeling zombie state of mind,
are lost forever in a fog filled with regret, remorse and guilt.
Touchstone's powerful alchemy is created by the bonds forged when
men talk about their lives, past and present, in the company of other
men who simply listen, and share their own experiences as a way of
support. Slowly, but surely, as members gain confidence in the process,
true healing occurs.
Touchstone's Name
Touchstone's name refers
to the slate rock known as a touchstone that was once used by geologists
to test for the presence of precious metals such as gold and silver.
Scratching the slate's surface with a sample rock and a chemical,
geologist could determine whether the sample was a precious
metal and what kind by the color of the mark. Today,
group members pass a piece of slate from man to man to signify
they are ready to speak, to scratch the surface of their lives
in order to reveal what they're really made of.
The Touchstone Format Works
Touchstone Groups work. The unique
format honors the 12-step principles of honesty
and confidentiality, are non-denominational, nonjudgmental and
free to men of all ages. Years of experience
have revealed that the Touchstone for Men group dynamics change
a man's life for the better. And for each life re-discovered,
there is hope for other men who are depressed.
Start a Touchstone for Men Group in Your Area
You don't have to be a psychologist or a therapeutic counselor to
start a Touchstone group in your hometown. There are no fees of
any kind involved. All you need is a place to meet and other men
who share your desire to recover from depression and a few guidelines.
If you're interested in leading a group of your own use the link
below to get more information:
Contact
Touchstone for Men for details about starting your own group >
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